First off thank you Apple for updating your iOS, more specifically the Map application. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Less than a week into my new California lifestyle I now have turn by turn navigation with spoken instructions, and let me tell you it works like a charm. I am so grateful that I don’t have to purchase another device just for that. but the truly interesting thing that happening to me today was as I walked around the mall in Mission Viejo. I walked past the Apple Store, one of the three I applied to, and just seeing the warm white glow and long tables with Apple products laying on them, my heart started to race and my stomach turned, my palms began to sweat and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t even make myself go in and introduce myself even as a customer. It was almost the same feeling I had when I applied to Apple in Germantown Tennessee about two years ago. I thought I had changed that I had grown and that I could walk into any place and the fear wouldn’t control me, well today it won and I don’t like that. I have been here barely a week and I am already letting fear win, this was not what I wanted to do. I came here to be free but the problem is I am just as much me here as I was back in Montana. I know I haven’t lost the war but today I lost a battle.

I know I will be ok, but I still don’t enjoy that feeling that come over me today. Truly Apple is the place I want to work the most and I think in my mind if I don’t get a job there I will be lost and all my plans will fail but Apple isn’t the only place I can work and have the life I want. Maybe there is something even better out there for me. If its not Apple I would like it to show up fast so that I don’t have to keep worrying about a job.