Posts tagged ‘hope’

Aladdin Syndrome

4899a17063c542711a0b30afd807ce93“Do you trust me?” It might surprise you that those four words are the words I want to hear from a man even more than “You are beautiful” or “I love you” Maybe its just me be I have always wanted to have a man walk into my life and make me trust him. I am a very reserved girl, one who does not trust easily or quickly. I know that I have lost friendships and possible relationships because I am so reluctant to trust others. I have had this idea in the back of my mind most of my life that one day a man would come along and offer me this great adventure and I would do what I always do, hesitate and back away and then he would say, “Do you trust me?” Maybe that just the overly romantic part of me coming out. The premise still remains, I have been looking and waiting for someone to make me trust them. I ran across the image above a few days ago and this idea has been rolling around in my head trying to make itself into something meaningful. I honestly have no idea where to put this concept or idea that I developed, but I have now named it the Aladdin Syndrome. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being slow to trust, its just a bit lonely but if you can handle the loneliness maybe its not so bad.

That brings up another thing I have been thinking a lot about lately. Just because you can handle something doesn’t mean you have to. Just because I can handle being lonely doesn’t mean I have to be lonely. Life is that eternal struggle to maintain a healthy balance of things in your life. No relationship will be perfect, there will be moments where you get hurt or mad or disappointed but what makes the difference between a relationship that you stand in the fire because you know you can and a relationship that you see the flames and leave? I wish I know. There have been times in my life, if I look back, where I left when I should have stayed and I stayed when I would have left. How do you know the difference? The emotion hurt just the same, the choices and results look the same too? So how do you know when you should stand and take the heat or when you just need to get out of the fire? Again, I wish I knew…

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If your “Why” is strong enough….

You will have to forgive me and extend me a little bit of trust on this one, this is not first hand experience but I know this story is true. Some of the detail, names, place etc, have slipped my memory but the heart of this still beats strong and true inside me. Some of you know that I am in sales, formerly the sale of Cutco knives to be precise and this is a story of a fellow salesman whom I have yet to have the pleasure to meeting but his story still inspires me.

This collage student, lets call him David, had been on a fantastic selling streak, for the last 6 weeks he had hit his goal of selling $4,000 a week and he was on target to go it again. He had what’s called in the business a “grand day” set. It was the last day of the sales week he had 5 appointments ahead of him and he was only one grand away from hitting his goal for the 7 week in a row. David was confident, he knew how to sell his product, all he had to do was show up and give the demonstration like had a thousand times before. He knew how to win, the first thing he did in every demo was to not just share his personal goals with Mr or Mrs Jones but to enroll them in it. He shared his dreams of Graduating college debt free and starting up his own company with every ounce of passion he had. The truth was David didn’t hit his sales goals because he was a slick salesman he hit his goals because he had a passion that wouldn’t quit and a dream that he wouldn’t let die.

David had all the momentum to achieve his goal that morning and as he was on the way to his first appointment adversity struck and struck hard in the form of a car accident. David and the other driver where luckily unharmed but David’s car was totaled. David was faced with a choice, call all 5 of his customers, who lived all over the city, and reschedule for next week or find a way to get to each appointment. There was no method of public transportation that could get him to where he needed to go and no friend or family member to ask for a ride, so what did he do? He asked the police officer who responded to the accident to give him a ride to his first appointment. David shared with the officer his goal and dreams just like he did with his customers. The officer was so moved and inspired by this young mans determination to achieve his goals, that he agreed to drive him to his first appointment. The officer wished he could have done more for David. David assured him he would be just fine and thank him whole heartedly for helping him achieve his dream. David was now at his first appointment, with no way to get to his next appointment that was across town plus he now had to explain to a middle aged women why he had been dropped of by a squad car. Not to mention that he was walking into her house with a bag full of very sharp knives. He chuckled to himself as he walked up the steps to ring the bell.

He rang the bell and greeted Mrs. Jones. He explained to her why his face had little cuts from broken glass and also why there was a police car pulling away from her house. She was shocked and a little taken back by the whole story but she still kindly invited him in to do his demonstration. David with practiced and focus did his demo for her, sharing his passions and dreams. Mrs. Jones decided that David had a few knives she liked and purchase them from his, also she knew some friends who would be interested in learning about the products that David had offered to her. There was just one last thing David had to ask, so he took a breathe and asked if there was anyway she could take him to his next appointment. Mrs. Jones had been so inspired and moved by Davids determination that she quickly agreed to take him to his next appointment.

Mrs. Jones dropped David off at his next appointment, and David now stood in front of Mrs. Smiths house with no way of reaching his next appointment but he was still determined to do all in his power to reach his goal. This could be his last appointment of the day so he better make it the best one ever. He walked up to the door and Mrs. Smith answered. She was an elderly women, she ushered him in with a very grand mothering was and they sat down at the table. From David’s experience in this business he could tell that Mrs. Smith was not a likely customer but this did not change anything, he still did his demo just the same. He shared his goals and dreams and took the time to show her all the knives and set options but Mrs. Smith was happy with her knives and did not need anything new. David did not lose heart, he had one last thing to ask. Mrs. Smith would you be able to take me to my next appointment, I know this is not a normal request but I a determined to keep my word and reach my goal and it would be of great help to me if you could.” David waited, knowing that it was a considerable walk for him to reach his next appointment. Mrs. Smith smiled and nodded “Of course, young man, I can take you to your next appointment.”

David arrived at his third appointment in Mrs. Smiths old Buick that smelled a bit like a hair salon, thanked her repeatedly and waved as she drove away. Mrs. Brown was a single mom with a toddler running around the house. After David completed his demo she bought one of the large sets of knives that David offered her, she did a lot of cooking and knew the value of having quality tools. She seamed to be a busy women with two children in school and one at home, David was half way to his sales goal and did for a moment question if he should just call it a day and begin his long walk back to the office, but something in him said no. No, David you have done all this work, you put in all these hours. You can’t just give up, not without at least asking if she can give you a ride to your next appointment. David finished packing up his knife kit. He stood to face Mrs. Brown not in a demanding or pompous manor, but out of respect, he looked her in the eye and asked her as he had twice already that day if she would be willing to take him to his next appointment. Mrs. Brown without missing a beat said. “Joey,” her toddler “Want to go for a ride?” Joey who had been playing in the living room just behind them, popped his head up and ran over to his mother greatly excited to go for a ride. Mrs. Brown after loading Joey into his car seat in the mini van leaned over to David and whispered. “He loves riding in the car.”

Appointment number four, the Mini Van in front of the mansion. It was game time, The Van-Dean residence cast a large shadow over the street but this also did not effect Davids approach or demeanor. Again with practiced precision he did as he had done at his previous three demos that day. He told the story of why had arrived via mini van and why he was doing what he was doing. He shared his goal and dreams with the same passion he had before. And something strange happened this time, before even beginning his demo, Mrs. Van-Dean offered to take him where ever he needed to go after the demo. David was a little shock but tried not to show it. Mr. and Mrs Van-Dean purchased some knives from him, putting David 3/4 of the way to his goal, with one last appointment left. David then realized that he had to get his paperwork for the day to the office by 6 o’Clock that night or his sales would not count for this week. However he first had to complete his next appointment and he was already half way there with Mrs. Van-Deans offer to give him a ride.

David’s final appointment, this was it, one last appointment to reach his goal. He had to sell at least a three hundred dollar set to hit his goal. After arriving at the Adam’s residence David stuck to his plan. He shared the events of the day with Mr. and Mrs. Adams and also his goals. The Adam’s had no personal need of knives they actually already had Cutco Knives and loved them. David, having noticed a picture of the couple with two grown children as he entered the house, inquired about their children, how old there where and what they where now doing. After a little bragging on their children Mr. Adams had a lightbulb moment. He decided to purchase both his children a complete set of knives for christmas, which was still 9 months away. David was delighted, he had just reach and far exceeded his goal. One last challenge, he still had to make it across town which from the Adam’s house was nearly a 25 to 30 minute drive so he could turn in all the paperwork. So what did he do? He asked if the Adams could help him with one last thing to help him in achieving his goal. Mrs. Adams gladly agreed to drive him across town.

There are so many lessons in this story but the one that brought this story back to my mind today is this:

“When your WHY is strong enough, the HOW will present its self.”

Name Tags

I wear the Name Tag of:

Women, Sister, Daughter, Friend, Niece, Granddaughter, Cousin, Neighbor, Relative, Sister-in-Law,

Athlete, Writer, Photographer, Graduate, Employee, Driver, Techie, Dyslexic, Creative,

Artistic, Sales Associate, Lead Laborer, Independent, Small Business Owner, Capricorn,

Night Animal, Christian, Non-Smoker, Basketball Player, Coach, Assistant, Runner,

Painter, Feminist, Poet, Traveler, Loner, Fighter, Encourager, Strong-Willed, Stubborn,

Dog Lover, Passport Holder, Contact Lens Wearer, Kind, Supportive, Sarcastic,

Tomboy, Consistent, Music Lover, Random, Clever, Practical Joker, Pastors Kid

… and the list goes on.

Throughout our lives we are all given Name Tags some we give to ourselves, some we love and some we hate. Society likes to give us these Name Tags to make us easier to understand, but truly they are one of the main reason the world is so confused about who I am. You can give me a new Name Tag everyday until the end of the world, but until you sit down in a room with me and hear my laughter, see my tears and find the fire in my soul, you will never know me or begin to understand me. Look deep into my eyes and forget what the world may have told you about me and see what I can teach you myself and what your own heart can tell you. Stop seeing with just your eyes, I am not a resume or a stat sheet, I am flesh and blood. I have been broken and I have walked among the stars, I walked the same ground you have and seen the same beauty and the same destruction. I know light from dark the same way you do.

Come sit with me and I will show you who I am.

Can you say “I’m Sorry”

I’m sorry, two little words, and can you believe that some people just don’t know how to say them? For something so small, you would think that tongue wouldn’t have trouble with these words, but how many times have you felt them rise in your throat and yet your tongue refuses to form them? I know I have been there. I think we need to learn to look someone in the eye that we have hurt and say “I’m Sorry” with no but after it. A statement followed by a but becomes an excuse. We need to own our shit, so many times we half ass things, a half ass apology is an excuse and a cop out. You either take full responsibility for what you have done or your don’t. You just can’t half way apologize and accept to something to change.

There are two parts to an apology, the first part is Owning it, I’m sorry. Period. The second part is where the being genuine comes in, if you are truly sorry about what you have done to someone or how you have failed then you must do something to change it. I’m sorry loses its power just as fast when you keep saying I’m sorry for the same thing over and over. If you don’t change anything and you keep apologizing to me for the same thing, I am going to stop listening because your apology has lost the action. You have to own your mistakes and then act on them to change them for your “I’m Sorry” to actually mean anything. Its just as empty without the action as it is with a ‘but’ after it. If you ever want to be more than you are today put action to your I’m sorry and take out the ‘buts’. If you actually do this you should never have to apologize for the same thing twice.

It begins

Today was quite an event, finally unloaded the uhaul and returned it, I can’t even begin to tell you how much better my truck feel without something behind it. I am so glad to be done with it. There is a sizable pile of boxes and suitcases in my new room but I am here. Spent some time at the beach with Chelsea and Colleen in the waves, it was so soothing to my spirit and my and my mind to be surrounded by people and yet not feel like I was being watched or judged. I think I am going to do well here, I know I will go thru struggles but I think there are amazing possibilities around every corner. Until then I will continue to settle in and enjoy the crashing of the waves on the beach.

Thoughts to ponder…From another author

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love – for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment is it perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. ~Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

California Stars By Billy Bragg

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I’d like to rest my heavy head tonight
On a bed of California stars
I’d like to lay my weary bones tonight
On a bed of California stars
I’d love to feel
Your hand touching mine
And tell me why
I must keep working on
Yes I’d give my life
To lay my head tonight on a bed
Of California stars
I’d like to dream
My troubles all away
On a bed of California stars
Jump up from my star bed
Make another day
Underneath my California stars
They hang like grapes
On vines that shine
And warm the lovers’ glass
Like friendly wine
So I’d give this world
Just to dream a dream with you
On our bed of California stars
I’d like to dream
My troubles all away
On a bed of California stars
(Dream a dream with you)

 

I feel like this song and these words where pulled from my heart and scribed by another heart. This captures how i am feeling so completely right now, please enjoy this song with me.

Sweet dreams All.