Posts from the ‘General’ Category

Can you say “I’m Sorry”

I’m sorry, two little words, and can you believe that some people just don’t know how to say them? For something so small, you would think that tongue wouldn’t have trouble with these words, but how many times have you felt them rise in your throat and yet your tongue refuses to form them? I know I have been there. I think we need to learn to look someone in the eye that we have hurt and say “I’m Sorry” with no but after it. A statement followed by a but becomes an excuse. We need to own our shit, so many times we half ass things, a half ass apology is an excuse and a cop out. You either take full responsibility for what you have done or your don’t. You just can’t half way apologize and accept to something to change.

There are two parts to an apology, the first part is Owning it, I’m sorry. Period. The second part is where the being genuine comes in, if you are truly sorry about what you have done to someone or how you have failed then you must do something to change it. I’m sorry loses its power just as fast when you keep saying I’m sorry for the same thing over and over. If you don’t change anything and you keep apologizing to me for the same thing, I am going to stop listening because your apology has lost the action. You have to own your mistakes and then act on them to change them for your “I’m Sorry” to actually mean anything. Its just as empty without the action as it is with a ‘but’ after it. If you ever want to be more than you are today put action to your I’m sorry and take out the ‘buts’. If you actually do this you should never have to apologize for the same thing twice.

Airport Sercurity

I have been thru airport security and customs countless times, and never had trouble except as a young child, I had to get wanded because I had light up shoes. But since then no trouble, I’ve travel solo and wit large groups but today was the first time I was very worried. I am a very good traveler alway very careful to abide by the rules of air travel. No liquids bigger then 3 oz, no nail clippers or anything that could be used as a weapon. Well today I get to hang out with the Memphis TSA staff a little longer than is usual. I put my bag on the conveyer belt and stepped thru the scanner with no problem. A very nice lady pulled my bag from the X-ray machine and asked if it was mine and I politely said “yes” she then told me she need to have a look in my bag. I told her that was fine. She set my bag on a table and then asked “do you have a knife in your bag ma’am?” I shock my head and said “no ma’am”. She then opened up my bad and pulled out my 7 inch fixed blade Kabar.

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I am fairly certain I turned white and then bright red with embarrassment. I promise you and them that I had no idea it was in that bag, plus I used that exact bag to get to Mississippi five days ago and the airport in Kalispell did not find it. I was shocked at my oversight and the other airports. I tried to assure them it was accidental and that if they had to confiscate it I was not going to get upset.

As I stood there wondering my fate I see them take my knife to a different security table off the one side and then begin to search thru some drawers until they pulled out a lime green ruler with half the measurements worn off. Then the lady who searched my bag says we may have to call a “LEO” (law enforcement officer) if it’s to big. Honestly lady it’s pretty stinking big. I thought to myself. I tried to stay calm but by this point I’m kinda freaked out. At this point I catch sight of my parent s who look very confused as to what is going on. I try to explain what’s happening across twenty feet of space between us. I mouth “I forgot my kabar in my bag” which took several tries for my mom to lip read. It took three TSA agent several minutes to decide what to do with me but one of them noticed I was talking to someone and asked if they where my parents and I said yes. Then someone who seamed to be incharge came and said “we don’t have to call anyone. Can we give this to your parents?” I apologized profusely and said they could give it to my parents. But I was about half an inch of steel from being taken to 201 poplar in a private lighted carriage ride. That was enought travel excitement for me.

I can guarantee you that before I pack a bag to take to the airport I will be flipping it upside down and vigorously shaking it before I start packing.

Well, until then…

To All My Dear Friends

I want to say something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Actually it started last night when I heard someone say this “if you don’t text me, I’m not going to talk to you” I was shocked at how selfish that statement was. I will be honest with you I have said this very same thing and it made me sick to hear it come from someone else’s mouth knowing it had also come out of mine.
It was a bit of an eye opening moment and there are two things that have blossomed out of it. The first is that I should be more proactive about staying in touch with my friends. I know that at time I can get offended by how distant my friends can be, for whatever reason and that sometimes I crawl up on my high horse and defiantly refuse to be the first one to break the silence and I get even more stubborn when I am personally going thru a tough time. Very often I isolate myself farther and hurt myself more because I am too prideful to say I need support in what I am facing. Yes it’s true that your friends may not be able to do anything that will change what is currently happening but they can listen, they can say they are sorry and they love you, they can come over and sit with you or bring over some beer and distract you and any number of other things. But they can’t do any of those things if you stay on that high horse and refuse to reach out. I know for certain that I do this and I do it quite often.
The second thing I realized way this, how many of my friends don’t know that I am only a text message or a phone call away, that if they made the slightest move or request in a time of need I would be there in any and all ways that I could. So I suppose what I am trying to say is this. Dear Friends please don’t be afraid or worried about reaching out to me when you are having a hard time. If you need a sounding board, I am here, if you need a hug, I’m here. If you need to rant or cry or talk it all out, I’m here. I will be your friend and love you anyway you will allow me but I can’t do that if you cut yourself off from me. I want to help you, I want to love you and support you inwhatever it is that you are doing, please let me be there for you.

Not Voting

I have made my decision, I will not be voting in this years election and my never vote again. Here is why. The system, the whole governmental system is broken. Broken to the extent that it cannot be fixed from the inside, which was tried, or from the outside, which we also tried. I am tried of trusting people who are by the very nature of humanity deemed independent and selfish. I am sick of hearing all the slander and all the lies from everyone involved. The government doesn’t trust us to do right to each other that is why they make law and then we are forced to pick a leader from the same masses that are so untrustworthy that the government wants to control, does anyone else see an issue with this logic. People will not cease to act as people act just because they are give power and responsibility, in fact they will continue to do what they have been doing, being independent and selfish, but not they have more resources to do so. We don’t trust people to drive there cars safely, thats why we have speed limits and DUI law because people are going to do what makes them fill good or gets them what they want. Do you realize that politicians are people too, the laws that govern stupidity where made for them too?! We are being forced to vote for people that are no better than the problem they claim they can fix. They may not have created the problems but I am certain they don’t know how to fix them. The day you can rid a person of all their self serving human nature and bias I will think about voting again. I will not be forces to pick the lesser of two evils, evil is evil, there is no less or more.

Another reason I will no longer vote is this, what difference does my one vote make. I am talking about my vote, Ivy Stracener’s vote, just me, just one. What difference will it make. It’s not like the whom ever gets elected is going to look thru all the ballets until he finds mine and say  “Oh wait, Ivy Stracener didn’t vote for me so I can’t be president” the day that will happen, I will vote. The people I have voted for in the past  don’t know me or care about what I do, no matter how carefully I pick my candidate we will never agree completely and they will never, the night before some vote call me up and, ask me which way to should vote. That’s not how this works. I dare someone out there reading this to prove me wrong, show me how my one vote will make a difference, tell me about some presidential election was decided by a single vote, or even a senate race or how a governor won by a single vote. I dare you!

I do not a solution to the problems of government but just because I can’t fix it doesn’t mean I can’t see when something is broken. I will not pretend to have answers to any of the questions facing the nation I was born into but I will tell you its not he government, they have had decades and decades and they have not made it better they have only created more problems.

Windows not Doors

I have been following a fellow blogger and today he made a great point today that I want to share with you.

“I don’t believe in closed doors, I just believe in closed windows. Why? There will be some times in your life when a window closes, but you still get to look and see what is going on through that window. We all have the ability to open that window again…trust me. Sometimes you just have to invent new possibilities and find out new ways to make something happen. Doesn’t really matter the details, if you want it you will make it happen. So don’t slam a door on someone or something, but just create another window in your house. People will look in and see what is going on with you, and if you decide to open the window and say hi, then be ready to let the fresh air in. People come and go, this is just a fact of life, but always give them the opportunity to look into your life. There really never is good timing for anything, however, your reactions to life’s constant game of testing you is what truly matters. The goodbyes are never goodbyes…they are just future hello’s waiting by the windowsill.” Evan Sanders thebettermanproject

I found this quote very comforting and challenging in the current season of change in my life. Being half moved and saying goodbye to my loving dog of 7 years has been very emotional but this idea that there are no closed door just shut windows has given me a new perspective and a new hope for my future in California. Just wanted to touch base and share this with others.

Until Then…

Fly, Show, Be

To My Daddy

To the Jedi Master who protected me all these years, to the McGyver who fixed all my broken toys and treasures and taught me to do it better, to the man who loved me and let me do crazy things, to the man who put a rope swing in the garage, who wrote me poetry and read me my favorite stories even thou you changed the words and made me mad, to the dad who rebouded for me, to the dad who bought me power tools and occasionally broke them, to the dad who traveled with me, who helped me change my tires, who bought me book and teddy bears, to the dad who believed in whatever my dreams were or are, to the dad who took me to the movies and bought me popcorn and candy and soda, to the dad who let me listen to his cool music, to the dad who no matter how old I get still calls me his “sweetie”. I love you so much dad and miss you like crazy. No matter how far away I am I always know you love me and I will always be your “Sweetie”.