I never would have called myself a perfectionist just someone who doesn’t want to make mistakes. Actually most of my decisions get heavily weighted to determine if they are mistakes or not. I will say this has saved me a quiet a bit of money and heartache, not going to lie I have made some not so smart and thought out choices but all the really really big stuff I think about for a long time. I have very strong desire to do things right, I know I am not perfect and no matter how hard I work I will never be perfect but in my mind I can live without mistakes, I thought. I am realizing as I make plans for moving to California that there is no real way of knowing if I am making a mistake by going now or in 6 month. All I know is that I can and should make the best informed decision that I can but make a decision I must. This is not an issue of right or wrong its an issue of can I make this work if I leave now or would it be better if i waited a little longer, dealt with work and maybe had a little more financial cushion before I go. I really want to leave right now but I know I have to fix my truck first and that will happen on the 5th. I have to stay at least that long but if I stay to the end of the month I will possible have a few more things situated and a little more money in my pocket from selling Cutco and Selling some of my stuff.

If I am truely honest with myself my need to not make mistakes is my way of trying to achieve the unachieveable “perfection”. I don’t really want to be perfect its a very hard ideal to maintain and frankly makes life no as much fun as if I just decided to be me and do my best. Moving to California might be a mistake but its gonna be one with a view and lot of things to do while I find out if it was a mistake or not. I guess if I am going to screw up and have to learn a hard lesson over time, why not do it somewhere with a coast line and so good looking men.

Until Then…